A Tooth Lost For 15 Years

If you ever lose, or witness a child lose, a permanent tooth, slap that bad boy into some milk and zoom on over to the dentist or hospital, whichever is faster. If you act quickly, there is a chance of the tooth being rammed back in and reaccepted by its shiny friends and family. If this short window of opportunity closes, all that’s left is to sign up for the nearest hockey league. (Or start the lengthy journey to a prosthetic). Let me give you the origin story of this valuable wisdom. 

Game Night

It was a chilly, fog laden, opportunity filled Oregon night in 2005 (as remembered by eight year old me). I rode in anxious excitement as Mom’s co-pilot to be dropped at Grandma’s church for an all-night-sugar-fueled-carnival of screaming elementary madness; officially known as “game night”. If you haven’t experienced the all night game-a-thon, it is basically an attempt to keep moving between active games, challenges, and video games until your brain forcibly shuts down your body. My personal experiences include a four-plus hour dance dance revolution marathon; watching another child get clocked in the head with a pack of AA batteries that had been too well hidden in a pillow case; eating a jalapeño whole, drinking a gallon of water to cure the burn, and subsequently puking my guts out; and finally today’s main event:

Maximum Child Velocity

The night started out well, full of donuts and orange juice I’m sure. Somewhere between 1 a.m. and 3 a.m. it was time for a classic game of tag. Complexity was increased by the dim lit hallways and unlit rooms of the church*. We took off in mass youth exodus out of the gym and down the hall. I made a hard left turn down the hallway of darkness while our other main character in this story looped around through the last classroom. After reaching maximum child velocity we collided in the blackness of the doorway at the end of the hall. My recently developed adult mouth bones were no match for the concrete forehead I smashed into.

*I have attached this self-constructed map of the small church layout to help improve understanding of the incident. 

My recollection:

My little legs had never reached a higher revolution rate. I streamed through the darkness like light, putting as much distance between myself and the approaching tagger as possible. Suddenly, WHAM! I watched my tooth fly from my face and land in a pool of blood on my forearm. I remember screaming, “you knocked out my tooth!”, I had to ensure condemnation of the guilty party of course. Next thing I knew, I was accompanied by a waterfall of a thousand tears and handed a towel to soak up the escaping blood cells. 

My parents' recollection:

Home phone rings. Parents awaken. Dad answers the phone.

Church leader guy: “Yah, so there was an incident and your son lost a permanent tooth. You probably want to come pick the kid up cause we don’t want to listen to him cry anymore”, something along those lines. 

Paranoid father: “Who is this?” Later recounts that he didn’t think it was someone from the church, rather a super villain trying to lure him out of the house in the middle of the night.

Anyhow, somehow the father is convinced of reality and I am rescued. I slept in a recliner in the living room and lived the rest of my life missing a front tooth... basically. It turns out there is no chance of replacing the actual tooth if you wait 12 plus hours to get it looked at. So I lived a few years rocking the toothless grin, followed by a tooth wired in with my braces for four and a half years. Then a wire retainer, which was broken by an elbow to the mouth at basketball practice, and held together for the following week with crazy glue before I admitted to needing a replacement. Next came clear retainers, the first of which I broke in half within the first few days, and the next of which I lost, third times the charm I suppose. Finally, to be recently replaced by a permanent implant after two surgeries, many dollars (thanks, mom and dad!), and a whole lot of swollen, Winnie the Pooh face.

Officially, in the event of an escaped tooth, according to Colgate’s website: 

“After comforting your child, find and reinsert the tooth if you can. To control the bleeding, place a piece of sterile gauze over the socket and ask your child to bite down on it or hold it in place. According to The Harvard Medical School Family Health Guide, you should avoid touching the root of the tooth when handling it. Rinse it in milk if the tooth is dirty, but plug the sink first to prevent it from disappearing down the drain. Don't scrub the tooth or remove any pieces of tissue. Gently replace the tooth in its socket, or if that isn't possible, put it in a clean container of milk, saltwater or saliva. Don't wrap the tooth in a napkin or allow it to dry because this reduces the chance that it will reattach. Take your child to see a dentist as soon as possible, and bring the tooth with you.”

I don't imagine a child taking the act of pressing a tooth back into the socket too well.

The few pranks and costumes I got out of a missing tooth were certainly a plus, but I very much appreciate the opportunity to laugh with friends during a meal without the self consciousness of how goofy I looked.

Moral of the story, put that tooth in milk and get to the dentist. 

*This is a throwback to our third podcast episode, "Honey, Where's My Tooth?". If you want to hear the story told live and with more laughter, go check it out!*