Why I am Grateful that I am NOT a Good Singer: My Worship Journey

I am so grateful I am not a good singer. I know sounds weird. It’s actually weirder if you knew about the singing classes I went to when I was 8 and how desperately I wanted to be Taylor Swift when I was in the 7th grade.

But for me, not being the most talented singer means that when I worship, it is for no one else but Jesus. When I worship, I am loud but I am certainly not proud… of my voice that is. What I am is grateful for and understanding of is the fact that God alone is worthy of ALL the praise I have in myself no matter my talent. But it was not always this way for me.

I once fell down during worship; I was in high school, struggling with an eating disorder, Body Dysmorphia, depression, anxiety, and I was in an abusive relationship. One day, I was standing up singing at church and felt Jesus call me to lift my hands in worship (which I had never really done before) but I could NOT lift my hands to God! I couldn’t be that close to Him! My 5’8” stature was already WAYYYY too close to God in my mind.

I’ll never forget that moment. If there wasn’t a chair behind me, I would’ve been on the floor.

I was exactly where satan wanted me - he’s the one who knocked me over. Like Adam and Eve trying to hide themselves and their sin from God. BUT GOD saw me. And He called me closer! I didn’t need to punish myself. Jesus already bore that punishment FOR ME.

So I’m happy to say that after a much needed break up and months and months of therapy, I was at GCU for the last Gathering of the school year, my Freshmen year, and I was finally able to lift my hands in praise.

These days I am probably “that person” at church… the loudest person waving her hands all over the place and dancing in my little space. I might be embarrassed if I wasn’t so excited to give God all the praise I can. I am so thankful that I have no shame of my pitchy pipes or of my sin when I am worshiping Jesus!

So I just want to encourage you, if you feel led to sing so loud, or lift your hands in worship, or flip a FLIPPIN flag if you want to, then ANSWER that call! Not only does this grow intimacy in your relationship with God but it also inspires your neighbor at church to let go of their shame and fears as well!

TaylorRae Schnepp

P.s. this is a photo blog so check out the rest of the highlight from my shoot with Caitlin for her grad photos below!